"Your dress is too short."
Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
*Wakes up in the middle of the night*
Please don't be 6am
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
*Shoves face back into pillow*
*hears a single word from a foreign language that i know* Wow. haha not to toot my own horn or anything but did you guys know that you are in the presence of a sophisticated linguist
exit the womb they said
life will be great they said
i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:
“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”
and i was like woah
thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten
guys just think about how applicable this is to EVERYFUCKINGTHING